Only in China
Sent: Friday, June 23, 2006 9:46 AM
Subject: Only in China....
I had business in Shenzhen, China on Wednesday and spent the night there. (For those of you not familiar with China, Shenzhen is on the southern coast just across the border from Hong Kong. It is a relatively small city by China standards (about 10+ million people) and one of the fastest growing cities in China. The border crossing to Hong Kong is the busiest in the world with an average of 200,000+ people passing through daily, 300,000 on holidays!
Inspected a couple resorts and had meetings followed by a 10-course Chinese dinner with the head guy and his management team. After which, he asked if I would like to watch the World Cup, Portugal was playing (and beat) Mexico. (For my USA friends, The World Cup is the world soccer finals. The World Cup is, to the rest of the world, what in the USA is, the Super Bowl, World Series and NBA Play-offs rolled into one). I said that would be great let's turn on the TV and he said we would go somewhere else to do so.
Minutes later his car pulled up, it was a beautiful, new, gold, 7 Series BMW. When we hopped in my eyes were drawn to two things... 1. My client's wife, a stunning 25 year old (husband is 50+) former professional dancer, now actress in a hit Chinese TV drama. The 2nd thing that caught my eye (and hurt to see) was the interior of the car; (champagne coloured leather) was covered with Snoopy (yes, the dog from the Peanuts cartoon) paraphernalia. Stuffed Snoopys in the year window, Snoopy floor mats front and back, various plastic Snoopy toys glued to the dashboard including the 'bobbing head, almost-life-size Snoopy' (I guess since Snoopy was never really alive one cannot say life size, so I guess I should say as big as I imagine it would be if it was a real dog...) on the dashboard and even Snoopy seat covers... And to top it off, blaring from the 12 speakers, state-of-the-art sound system was something that could only be described as the Chipmunks singing a Mandarin version of "How Much is That Doggie in the Window?” It all made for an interesting ride.
We pulled up to the front of a building that could only be described as a Las Vegas casino entrance. Flashing lights, massive entrance, doorman and lots of activity. We descended the grand staircase into what looked like a busy 5-star hotel lobby. There were lots of uniformed staff running around and a man in a tuxedo approached us. A few Mandarin words were exchanged and we were all handed a numbered bracelet with a key dangling from it, I was number 11125. The guys (3 of us) were ushered in one direction and the wife in another.
Through a maze of doors and hallways we emerged into the largest locker-room I have ever seen. The 11,125 number on my bracelet was probably in direct correlation with the number of lockers... No sooner had we entered when two attendants appeared, seemingly out of nowhere, and escorted me to a locker bearing the same number as my bracelet...
Before I could really grasp what was going on, one of the guys was untying my shoes and the other unbuttoning my shirt. I fended them off and finished undressing myself while they stared at me doing so. I was then escorted to the showers and pushed in a shower stall. I emerged clean but found the towel that I left hanging on the hook missing. The two guys were waiting for me and no amount of gesturing seemed to make them understand I wanted my towel. They indicated I was to follow them. We rounded a corner and my guides left me and I turned to find a huge indoor swimming pool, with waterfalls, Jacuzzi sections, Vichy water tables, big screen TV's on every wall it was incredible! The bad part... there had to be close to 300 naked Chinese guys running (almost frolicking) around enjoying the facilities...
I started to worry... Now you should know that I am not exactly the modest type... but this was definitely NOT my 'scene'... I looked around for my associates but they were nowhere to be found.
I spied a doorway on the other side of the pool and headed in that direction on (still bare assed mind-you) so I opened the door hesitantly afraid of what/who would be on the other side. Fortunately, on the far side were floor to ceiling shelves of towels and clothing with attendants handing out brown, gauze shorts, shirts (really more like a midriff top, not a pretty sight with my belly hanging out) and slippers. Again, the attendants try to help dress you but I pushed them away demonstrating I am capable of pulling on my own shorts. Moderately covered I pressed on to new frontiers...
Through the next doorway I found a massive living room type area. Couches (maybe 40 or 50) coffee tables and maybe 100 people (men and women) lounging around drinking tea, smoking and watching 60 inch plasma TVs that adorned every wall and pillar. We were all wearing the same colour/style shorts, tops and slippers. I looked around for my associates to no avail so I found an empty seat and planted myself. o sooner did my rear-end touch the couch when a glass of hot tea was put down in front of me and I was offered a cigarette (which, I declined for those of you concerned about me going back to bad habits...) and some fruit.
I watched the warm-up show for the football match for a while when my host came up and said he was looking for me in the pool... I mumbled something about not being able to swim.... The wife showed up, albeit she looked a whole lot better in her shorts, midriff top and sandals than the men... We marched into a restaurant (mind you, we had just had a 10 course Chinese meal an hour or so prior...) we were served green tea, sliced fruit and ice cream (choice of 6 flavours)...
We sat there for about a half hour chatting when a young woman came to escort us to another area. We rounded the corner to find ourselves in a huge cinema except, and I am only guessing here, there were 300 loungers (recliner/single sofa), stair-stepped and facing a huge movie theatre-sized screen showing the match. In those seats were 300 people getting head, shoulder and foot massages AND while be massaged, they were getting a manicure and/or pedicure... AT THE SAME TIME! There were at least 2, often 3 attendants to every customer.
We were escorted to the VIP section where, in addition to being able to clearly see the big screen, we each had our own, individual 19 inch plasma TV that swiveled in front of our face. 200 cable channels, everything from Chinese opera to CNN, HBO to Italian soap operas. The speakers were in the headrest and could be adjusted to cut out all other noise in the room. I had no sooner sat back and was about to catch up on my daily fix of the BBC when I had a girl start giving a manicure, a guy giving me a pedicure while another girl was massaging my head and shoulders. This time I did not object!
That went on for over an hour. The interesting thing about the nail treatments is that they did not use a nail clipper or a file. Everything from cutting the nails, to trimming cuticles and getting rid of calluses was done with razor blades. Amazingly, not a drop of blood was spilt (neither theirs nor mine) and I can only described when I look down is, I now have "happy feet".... They have not been that smooth or trim since I was a baby. Oh, did I mention that while sitting there we were served more cut fruit, a variety of teas and choice of noodle dishes? All the while we watched Mexico lose to Portugal, 2-3...
You might think that would be the end of the evening, after all, it was well past midnight. But no, an attendant came up to us and escorted us to a bank of elevators and when we emerged from the lift several stories up where we found a labyrinth of massage rooms, 525 massage rooms to be exact. The rooms had massage tables for 2, 4, 6, 8 or 12 persons. Each room had a 60-inch plasma TV. We were escorted to a VIP massage room which included four massage beds, five 60 inch plasma TVs (one on each wall and one on the ceiling so no matter which way you faced you had a view, four massage chairs and EIGHT attendants! For the next two hours we were massaged, stretched and, at times, seemingly beat to a pulp. Hands were poking and prodding everywhere (but not 'there', for those of you with dirty minds). No talking by anyone in the group, just the odd moans or groans as muscles were pulled and joints were cracked.
At 2:30am we were escorted to another restaurant and served a variety of Chinese dishes and 'healing teas' it was there we discussed the pros and cons of our massage therapists.
Finally at 330am we were escorted back to the showers and lockers where, once again, I fended off the attendants and demonstrated I am capable of pulling up my own underwear...
They drove me back and dropped me off at my hotel at 400am. As I got out of the car my client says, "so, breakfast at 700?"
.... Only in China!
Sent: 28 June 2006 12:12
Subject: Only in China – Postscript: have received considerable feedback from my previous email on the above topic...Just to clear the air...
The food, head & neck massage, pedicure, manicure, full body massage by two attendants, dressing and undressing services did come at a pretty hefty price. I didn't want anyone to think I am living this decadent lifestyle and not paying my fair share. Total cost of the Was well over 280 RMB (about US$35). That included the HUGE 50 RMB (US$6.25) tip I recklessly tossed in at the last minute. I just didn't want anyone to think that I don't 'give back' to the locals when I give them the opportunity to serve me in the manner I so richly deserve...
I am sure you can get a better deal at your local beauty/massage parlour...
Subject: Only in China....
I had business in Shenzhen, China on Wednesday and spent the night there. (For those of you not familiar with China, Shenzhen is on the southern coast just across the border from Hong Kong. It is a relatively small city by China standards (about 10+ million people) and one of the fastest growing cities in China. The border crossing to Hong Kong is the busiest in the world with an average of 200,000+ people passing through daily, 300,000 on holidays!
Inspected a couple resorts and had meetings followed by a 10-course Chinese dinner with the head guy and his management team. After which, he asked if I would like to watch the World Cup, Portugal was playing (and beat) Mexico. (For my USA friends, The World Cup is the world soccer finals. The World Cup is, to the rest of the world, what in the USA is, the Super Bowl, World Series and NBA Play-offs rolled into one). I said that would be great let's turn on the TV and he said we would go somewhere else to do so.
Minutes later his car pulled up, it was a beautiful, new, gold, 7 Series BMW. When we hopped in my eyes were drawn to two things... 1. My client's wife, a stunning 25 year old (husband is 50+) former professional dancer, now actress in a hit Chinese TV drama. The 2nd thing that caught my eye (and hurt to see) was the interior of the car; (champagne coloured leather) was covered with Snoopy (yes, the dog from the Peanuts cartoon) paraphernalia. Stuffed Snoopys in the year window, Snoopy floor mats front and back, various plastic Snoopy toys glued to the dashboard including the 'bobbing head, almost-life-size Snoopy' (I guess since Snoopy was never really alive one cannot say life size, so I guess I should say as big as I imagine it would be if it was a real dog...) on the dashboard and even Snoopy seat covers... And to top it off, blaring from the 12 speakers, state-of-the-art sound system was something that could only be described as the Chipmunks singing a Mandarin version of "How Much is That Doggie in the Window?” It all made for an interesting ride.
We pulled up to the front of a building that could only be described as a Las Vegas casino entrance. Flashing lights, massive entrance, doorman and lots of activity. We descended the grand staircase into what looked like a busy 5-star hotel lobby. There were lots of uniformed staff running around and a man in a tuxedo approached us. A few Mandarin words were exchanged and we were all handed a numbered bracelet with a key dangling from it, I was number 11125. The guys (3 of us) were ushered in one direction and the wife in another.
Through a maze of doors and hallways we emerged into the largest locker-room I have ever seen. The 11,125 number on my bracelet was probably in direct correlation with the number of lockers... No sooner had we entered when two attendants appeared, seemingly out of nowhere, and escorted me to a locker bearing the same number as my bracelet...
Before I could really grasp what was going on, one of the guys was untying my shoes and the other unbuttoning my shirt. I fended them off and finished undressing myself while they stared at me doing so. I was then escorted to the showers and pushed in a shower stall. I emerged clean but found the towel that I left hanging on the hook missing. The two guys were waiting for me and no amount of gesturing seemed to make them understand I wanted my towel. They indicated I was to follow them. We rounded a corner and my guides left me and I turned to find a huge indoor swimming pool, with waterfalls, Jacuzzi sections, Vichy water tables, big screen TV's on every wall it was incredible! The bad part... there had to be close to 300 naked Chinese guys running (almost frolicking) around enjoying the facilities...
I started to worry... Now you should know that I am not exactly the modest type... but this was definitely NOT my 'scene'... I looked around for my associates but they were nowhere to be found.
I spied a doorway on the other side of the pool and headed in that direction on (still bare assed mind-you) so I opened the door hesitantly afraid of what/who would be on the other side. Fortunately, on the far side were floor to ceiling shelves of towels and clothing with attendants handing out brown, gauze shorts, shirts (really more like a midriff top, not a pretty sight with my belly hanging out) and slippers. Again, the attendants try to help dress you but I pushed them away demonstrating I am capable of pulling on my own shorts. Moderately covered I pressed on to new frontiers...
Through the next doorway I found a massive living room type area. Couches (maybe 40 or 50) coffee tables and maybe 100 people (men and women) lounging around drinking tea, smoking and watching 60 inch plasma TVs that adorned every wall and pillar. We were all wearing the same colour/style shorts, tops and slippers. I looked around for my associates to no avail so I found an empty seat and planted myself. o sooner did my rear-end touch the couch when a glass of hot tea was put down in front of me and I was offered a cigarette (which, I declined for those of you concerned about me going back to bad habits...) and some fruit.
I watched the warm-up show for the football match for a while when my host came up and said he was looking for me in the pool... I mumbled something about not being able to swim.... The wife showed up, albeit she looked a whole lot better in her shorts, midriff top and sandals than the men... We marched into a restaurant (mind you, we had just had a 10 course Chinese meal an hour or so prior...) we were served green tea, sliced fruit and ice cream (choice of 6 flavours)...
We sat there for about a half hour chatting when a young woman came to escort us to another area. We rounded the corner to find ourselves in a huge cinema except, and I am only guessing here, there were 300 loungers (recliner/single sofa), stair-stepped and facing a huge movie theatre-sized screen showing the match. In those seats were 300 people getting head, shoulder and foot massages AND while be massaged, they were getting a manicure and/or pedicure... AT THE SAME TIME! There were at least 2, often 3 attendants to every customer.
We were escorted to the VIP section where, in addition to being able to clearly see the big screen, we each had our own, individual 19 inch plasma TV that swiveled in front of our face. 200 cable channels, everything from Chinese opera to CNN, HBO to Italian soap operas. The speakers were in the headrest and could be adjusted to cut out all other noise in the room. I had no sooner sat back and was about to catch up on my daily fix of the BBC when I had a girl start giving a manicure, a guy giving me a pedicure while another girl was massaging my head and shoulders. This time I did not object!
That went on for over an hour. The interesting thing about the nail treatments is that they did not use a nail clipper or a file. Everything from cutting the nails, to trimming cuticles and getting rid of calluses was done with razor blades. Amazingly, not a drop of blood was spilt (neither theirs nor mine) and I can only described when I look down is, I now have "happy feet".... They have not been that smooth or trim since I was a baby. Oh, did I mention that while sitting there we were served more cut fruit, a variety of teas and choice of noodle dishes? All the while we watched Mexico lose to Portugal, 2-3...
You might think that would be the end of the evening, after all, it was well past midnight. But no, an attendant came up to us and escorted us to a bank of elevators and when we emerged from the lift several stories up where we found a labyrinth of massage rooms, 525 massage rooms to be exact. The rooms had massage tables for 2, 4, 6, 8 or 12 persons. Each room had a 60-inch plasma TV. We were escorted to a VIP massage room which included four massage beds, five 60 inch plasma TVs (one on each wall and one on the ceiling so no matter which way you faced you had a view, four massage chairs and EIGHT attendants! For the next two hours we were massaged, stretched and, at times, seemingly beat to a pulp. Hands were poking and prodding everywhere (but not 'there', for those of you with dirty minds). No talking by anyone in the group, just the odd moans or groans as muscles were pulled and joints were cracked.
At 2:30am we were escorted to another restaurant and served a variety of Chinese dishes and 'healing teas' it was there we discussed the pros and cons of our massage therapists.
Finally at 330am we were escorted back to the showers and lockers where, once again, I fended off the attendants and demonstrated I am capable of pulling up my own underwear...
They drove me back and dropped me off at my hotel at 400am. As I got out of the car my client says, "so, breakfast at 700?"
.... Only in China!
Sent: 28 June 2006 12:12
Subject: Only in China – Postscript: have received considerable feedback from my previous email on the above topic...Just to clear the air...
The food, head & neck massage, pedicure, manicure, full body massage by two attendants, dressing and undressing services did come at a pretty hefty price. I didn't want anyone to think I am living this decadent lifestyle and not paying my fair share. Total cost of the Was well over 280 RMB (about US$35). That included the HUGE 50 RMB (US$6.25) tip I recklessly tossed in at the last minute. I just didn't want anyone to think that I don't 'give back' to the locals when I give them the opportunity to serve me in the manner I so richly deserve...
I am sure you can get a better deal at your local beauty/massage parlour...
www.JosephHickman.com